Our dirt bikes bring all the boys to the yard. Damn right, they're better than yours.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Gateway's 95th

Neal's post made me laugh, and then it made me cry a little bit, because I have no exciting stories to tell. At least not exciting like that. So I'll rely on something that happened a long time ago to keep you amused:

A scant two Fridays ago was an evening full of drinking, a limited amount of debauchery, and, uh, old people in the early stages of senility rambling about their pasts. No, not Christmas; the Gateway's 95th anniversary dinner! The evening started out with plenty of awkward small-talk, followed by a surprisingly decent buffet dinner, courtesy of the Chateau Lacombe. All happily full and semi-drunk off free wine by this point, we turned our anticipation (and by "anticipation" I mean "eyes") to budding novelist Todd Babiak, who was to deliver the keynote address. Several harrowing tales, most of which involved him making his little brother shit his pants, later, old-timers were invited to come up to the mic and reminisce (probably a terrible idea, looking back on it, but everyone was feeling dangerously good-natured at the time). And boy, let me tell ya, there sure were a lot of old-timers. In fact, there were 95 people there all told (creepily enough), and at least two editors from every decade from the '40s on.

The speeches went well enough, with everyone present nostaligically reflecting on their pasts at the Gateway, the friends they made, the careers it had launched, etc., until the oldest guy present (I can't remember his name, but he was EiC in '40/'41) took the stage. This started off interestingly enough, until he got distracted from talking about the Gateway and turned to totally unrelated ramblings about women at university having to participate in military drills ("There was a man there by the name of Darling, and every time I called out his name, every girl would answer, 'Yes dear?'"), the poor life choices of French Canadians ("The most important thing the Quebecers at the conference learned was just how much happier you could be if you didn't have 14 children"), and the difficulties of educating Jamaicans. (As an aside, I just asked Chris if this was libel. He said, "He doesn't even know what a computer is!")

Anyway, despite the exchanged nervous glances this tirade led to, it didn't get too out of hand (he suddenly seemed to realize how uncomfortable everyone was getting, and abruptly stopped talking and sat down), and the rest of the night was a lot of fun, culminating in further drinking at the Savoy. I bet you all sure are sad you missed it.

In conclusion, here are some photos of people you guys know:


Blogger Dave said...

Holy shit, Boutet, is that a pink shirt?!?

You are the most handsome man I know.

1:41 AM

Blogger Chris! said...

Well, you know, my red flaming-skull hoodie and silver raver pants were in the wash..

2:07 PM

Blogger mike w said...

Boutet's been reading Men's Vogue.

Didn't some geezer go kind of nuts on a fake story written about a dead dog during the 90th anniversary dinner? This should be a regular feature of these dinners... we could call it the "NutBox."

5:21 PM

Blogger Dave said...

As far as fashion goes, it reminds me that I'm about one hoodie-hole away from total hobo-ism.

5:24 PM

Blogger Ladysir said...

On an unrelated note, an article about the connections between blogging and cats--with way too much commentary from that Dan Lazin of the east, J. Kelly Nestruck.


And yes, Chris. Your shirt is the prettiest shirt of all.

8:44 PM

Blogger Superdude said...

THat old guy's story sounds GREAT! What the hell are you guys so mad about? He should have been the keynote speaker, not old "Burger-Time" Babiuk, who was best known for his love of Colecovision, rather than his literary prowress. Isn't that right? Anyone?

10:33 AM

Blogger Superdude said...

also, I wish I had been there. Nothing makes a body feel old than a reunion at a paper run by teenagers and pedophiles. Especially teen pedophiles.

10:35 AM

Anonymous Todd Babiak said...

My name doesn't have a u, Superdude. And I never had a Colecovision. They did ask the old guy to do the keynote address, but he was too busy thinking about the Jamaicans. So they asked me. Thanks, though!

1:23 PM


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