Sweet Yard Sale Hook-Ups

Who says you can’t be a playa’ on a budget? As this yard sale flyer – found tacked up outside a Portuguese bakery in the Dundas-Ossington area last Saturday night – makes very clear, you can still be all that even if your wallet ain’t fat.

The top five items:

1. Bling Blings – This is exactly the term grandma would use when passing around a bag full of her old costume jewelry that she’s decided to share with all the grandchildren. “Kids, help yourself to some of grandma’s bling blings, there’s plenty to go around.” That said, I think the plural of “bling bling” should be simply “blang.”
2. Crosses of the Lord, Jesus Christ – Just in case you thought they might be Crosses of the Lord, Vader.”
3. Collectables from Honey U R My Shiny Star – I’d check out this sale just to find out what the hell these are. “Honey, you are my shining star” are lyrics from Shining Star, by The Manhattans. Anyone know what these collectables might be from?
4. Deodorant – I hope this actually smells like a yard sale: old books, dusty clothes and cigarette-stained furniture. If it were a cologne (also available at this yard sale), it could be “Old Spice-Rack”, “CK 2 for 1” or “Karl Lagerfeld’s Used.”
5. Spinners (Watches – Playboy & G-Unit) – Oh, yeah. Nothin’ says “Mac” like a spinning rim-style G-Unit watch bought at a yard sale. Goes perfectly with slightly used gold caps and half-empty bottle of Cristal you found while garage sale-ing last weekend.