Our dirt bikes bring all the boys to the yard. Damn right, they're better than yours.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Sweet Yard Sale Hook-Ups


Who says you can’t be a playa’ on a budget? As this yard sale flyer – found tacked up outside a Portuguese bakery in the Dundas-Ossington area last Saturday night – makes very clear, you can still be all that even if your wallet ain’t fat.

The top five items:

  1. Bling Blings – This is exactly the term grandma would use when passing around a bag full of her old costume jewelry that she’s decided to share with all the grandchildren. “Kids, help yourself to some of grandma’s bling blings, there’s plenty to go around.” That said, I think the plural of “bling bling” should be simply “blang.”
  2. Crosses of the Lord, Jesus Christ – Just in case you thought they might be Crosses of the Lord, Vader.”
  3. Collectables from Honey U R My Shiny Star – I’d check out this sale just to find out what the hell these are. “Honey, you are my shining star” are lyrics from Shining Star, by The Manhattans. Anyone know what these collectables might be from?
  4. Deodorant – I hope this actually smells like a yard sale: old books, dusty clothes and cigarette-stained furniture. If it were a cologne (also available at this yard sale), it could be “Old Spice-Rack”, “CK 2 for 1” or “Karl Lagerfeld’s Used.”
  5. Spinners (Watches – Playboy & G-Unit) – Oh, yeah. Nothin’ says “Mac” like a spinning rim-style G-Unit watch bought at a yard sale. Goes perfectly with slightly used gold caps and half-empty bottle of Cristal you found while garage sale-ing last weekend.

8 Comments:

Anonymous eun said...

Shit. Even yard sales in Toronto are awesome. Looks like a complete everyday rudebwoy starter package. Tres Kardi. You're sure the sale wasn't at Choclair's pad?

3:08 AM

 
Anonymous collin said...

Oh, Dave. Why can't you just be happy for people?
Hey! here's something, do a google news search for "go-kart" and "fingers."

3:23 AM

 
Anonymous geoff said...

The other interpretation of #2 is that "Crosses of the Lord, Jesus Christ" are actually separate items. If this is the case, then I'm curious to see what the market price is these days for Mr. Christ's servitude.

3:38 PM

 
Anonymous paul said...

In the context of everything else, "hand painted art work pieces" intrigues me the most.

10:33 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Dave --- completely unrelated, but are you watching RockStar: Supernova??? There's a dude on there that totally looks like you.

Lori

PS...Send me your new address. Have a birth announcement to send you.

4:11 PM

 
Blogger Eyeris said...

I sure hope the lingerie and men's underwear are not of the used variety.

I wonder if the Jennifer Lopez posters are pre-Bennifer. It's be even awesomer if it's pre-J-Lo.

2:31 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's cool, dude...

by the way, I see you have good knowledge. Can you answer this question then: What's the difference between HD-DVD and is it true that it looks way more wicked than anything else?

6:13 PM

 
Blogger Dave said...

"That's cool, dude...

by the way, I see you have good knowledge. Can you answer this question then: What's the difference between HD-DVD and is it true that it looks way more wicked than anything else?"

It's like looking at a rainbow through orgasm-coloured glasses. I guess to answer that question, one would need to know exactly what you're comparing HD-DVD to. Best check out some tech forums for more info. Good luck.

12:10 AM

 

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