Our dirt bikes bring all the boys to the yard. Damn right, they're better than yours.

Friday, October 21, 2005

I hate newspapers

This one is a serious one.

Ok, folks, when I'm not puking through my hands into a keyboard, I can do a pretty mean piece of research.. I've got blisters on my ears, eyes and brain from spending an entire day writing two news stories; one I didn't give a shit about, and which didn't take any more than 40 minutes to write, and a second one about a growing problem in my neighbourhood: swarmings. That's what police call it when three or more youths from the rough area (areas in Halifax can be less than a block squared, so there are a lot of different areas in this little town) attack someone from the equally poor but less delinquent "Neal Zone." It's got them in a kerfuffle, most recently because a former student of the art college here and a freind of hers were KNOCKED OFF OF THEIR BIKES by a 4x4 piece of wood TO THE FACE. That's serious. Like to the point where they had to have pieces of the frames of their glasses surgically removed from the brigdes of their noses.
So, I spent my day talking to everyone I could possibly think of . When it was aall said and done, I had 3500 words of notes, and a pretty good idea what the story should look liike. I forgot the fact that I write for a paper equal in format, and even lower in quality, to the Edmonton Sun. That meant I had a little less that 400 words to nurture, birth, and raise a feature magazine article. Needless to say, what came out was a stillborn bastard piece of garbage. Sure, someone with a super-tight writing style might have been able to do something with the space, but I couldn't. I'll post the Story as a comment after I'm done this so it doesn't interrupt this rant.
Seriously, I've YELLED more than 400 words in a row, and that was twice-drunk on a 2-litre bottle of coke mixed 50-50 with rum on new years' eve in Edmonton when it was -40 after working for 10 hours straight. Writing 400 words? I've sucker-punched a keyboard and accidentally written more, and it made more sense that time. I don't like it. I want more room to write.
It's t the point where I cringe at the idea of researching stories, and, though I know my research skills are atrophying, there's nothing I can do. I don't usually have time to research anything because I have 4 300-word stories to write. That's a little easier, though, becuase uyou can just type out the FUCKING PRESS RELEASE, and then get a token quote from the dipshit named at the bottom of the fax printout.
Yes, it's depressing. It's like writing for Hitler while the devil laughs and kicks you. Oh, and you get paid shitty, too. And if I write anything I'm interested in, like science, or nature, it usually gets cut for "hard news:" which equals, knifing, shooting, politicians hwo get AIDS, and, ironically enough, girls getting hit off their bikes with a fucking piece of wood. But we'd never go find witnesses, we'd just type out the press release from the cops.
One night, I rolled a press release up so tight that it would fit up my pee-hole, jammed it in, then let it unwind a little. Then I took a hammer, bashed the paper until it stabbed my kidneys, and smiled because the pain blocked my mind from thinking about how fucking useless it is to work at a tabloid newspaper. Then I took the hammer and bashed the keyboard 400 tiems, and sent that to the copy editors. Ironically, they couldn't tell the difference.
I'm moving to Melfort, Saskatchewan to be a radio reporter. You get even fewer words on the radio, but at least someone listens to what you say.

5 Comments:

Blogger Superdude said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:56 PM

 
Blogger Superdude said...

Here it is. I took my name off it.
NO NAME
The beating of a former NSCAD student is moving her teachers, former schoolmates and community to draw together and look for solutions to a violence problem in their area.
The woman, who didn’t want her name used, says she was attacked by a group of five youths while riding her bicycle down Maynard Street on Oct. 14, at about 7 p.m. She says the youths knocked her off her bike with a piece of 4x4 wood, breaking her glasses in two, and leaving large gashes in her face. A companion also went to hospital with similar injuries.
Still shell-shocked from her attack, she doesn’t have a lot to say. She has a hard time thinking about what happened to her.
“It was easy to talk about it a few days ago, but today is just not a good day,” she said. “I’m trying not to feel like a victim; it was a completely random thing.”
Another swarming victim said local residents need to take responsibility for the area’s safety.
“It’s going to have to be the community, because you can put more cops on the street, but it’s so random,” said NO NAME, who was the second of four victims of a group of teens last April.
Assaults in north-end Halifax are a hot topic at the art school, said student union president NO NAME, because many of its students live there, and “It seems like every few months, something like this happens.”
NAME said funds are very limited for the small student union, and programs like Dalhousie’s and Saint Mary’s, which use vans to drive students home in the evening, aren’t feasible at NSCAD.
She said they’re considering lower-cost options, such as a walk-home program where students were paired up in the evenings.
Another option might be to share the ride-home services of the two larger schools with hers.
“I want to do anything I can to make people safe in their community, and strongest connections with people,” she said.
A community watch program is the thing for the North End, said Coun. Dawn Sloane. By pulling people together, and getting to know their neighbours, residents can work together to make criminals in the area feel unwelcome. She says anyone interested in joining the neighbourhood watch program can call 490-4752.

7:03 PM

 
Blogger Superdude said...

Oh, this is also a version somehow 200 words shorter than the one I handed in. I hate it.

7:04 PM

 
Blogger LG said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:29 AM

 
Blogger LG said...

I read what you write, even if you do work for a paper that cares less about its writers than the bums who steal from trick-or-treaters.

Turn your anger into good, Superdude.

9:31 AM

 

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