Well, only one way to find out!

Oh, wait. I guess there's two ways. Still, what an odd way to sell people on swimming lessons. Why not, "How well does your family swim"? Drown-proof is just... creepy — an ominous vision of things to come during that the final free lesson.

Anyhow, how's by you? I'm growing a playoff beard. Keep track of my advancing scruffiness here. If you can FUCKING HANDLE IT.