Drinkin' Heavy
Yeah.
For those of you who appereciate (or will appreciate) the situation of being unemloyeed for threee mothnths,
Yes, this is what happens.
Yes, you do get sad. '
You do end up drinking waymore than you think you will.
]ANdYes, indeed, your ex-girlfriends WILL show up, no matter where you go.
That's how drunken unemloyment works in oceantown.
Not that is isn't pretty fun, when it's happening. It's pretty good. As "Journey" would say, "any way you want it, that's the way you need it, anyy way you wantit" do do-do-do doo do -- do do--"
It's the anthem for our generation. Honestly, I haven't been this drunk since I sahmefully wrecked a christmas party in Edmonton (shame, shame) .
And, despite my revalation that this is drunken rambling, I really want you all to know:
1. I am sick of being unemplyed.'
2. I want a paycheque that represents my experience.
3. I am cool, and denied my just deserts by the lame job market that is atlantic canada.
Yes, there are a lot of beaches. But no, there aren't a lot of useful jobs,.
Come out to visit. I'm willing t be the one who to subsidises your visitiing the most beautiful province in Canada. Sure, there;s no jobs,m but there's defitiely fun. '
Fuck, am I drunk this time.
posted by Neal Ozano at 10:19 PM
9 Comments:
Yeah. What a post. Great. That guy must be wasted.
I woke up this morning, and found my keyboard covered in blood, and a half-eaten can of beans to the side. And the reference to a Journey song comes from drunken Karaoke.
Good times.
10:32 AM
Neal,
Elizabeth and I have talked, and we're keen on adopting you.
Yrs.,
R. E. Biesinger
10:09 PM
So this particular drinking episode is different from when you lived in Edmonton how?
You remember that apple core you found in your bed? Ya, that was me and Blair. We had a bet how long it would take for you to find it. He thought the next day, I thought a week. It took almost 2 weeks.
Actually, that's not true. But you did find an apple core in your bed.
11:29 PM
Ahhh, sweet taste of full-time employment...
Nothing like the waking up at 6 am, the ironing of clothes, the blood-arousing smell of fresh coffeee, the fulfilling drive through the meandering rush-hour traffic.
The office gossip, the swearing at your boss, the little ways of sticking it to the man...
Damn, It would be hard to miss that all.
I am sorry for you mate, I really am...
8:24 AM
I understand your pain as well, sir. I've worked full-time for almost four weeks in the last three years. It hurt the whole time, brother. Let me tell you. The pain was endless.
But I sure appreciated the paycheque.
Who are you?
3:34 PM
The fantasy I've been pretending to live may sound grand, but in reality I am a soup explorer. My employer, the Soups United, owns many of the soup types consumed around the world. Each time a certain soup is purchased, we get a percentage of that sale. Tomato makes us $0.01, Leek $0.03, Chicken $0.09 and so on, you get the idea?
Every so often we make a new type of soup available and through our numerous contacts market it to the world. I am one of a few guys responsible for a new taste.
So, most of the time I sit idly by, collecting that proverbial paycheck, but there comes a time when I need to get my butt in gear and come up with a new soup...
Sounds exciting doesn't it?
7:40 PM
Ozano,
If you'll allow a one-time protégé to call your drunken bluff, I will accept your hospitality. Let me know if you will be able to provide shelter coupled with your patented blend of sage advice and devastating putdowns the first week of August.
9:11 AM
Get a job.
Perhaps you could move AWAY from Atlantic Canada. That's what everybody else has been doing for the last 10 years.. I hear there's oil in Alberta somewhere that needs drilling..
11:22 AM
I have a job. I worked for four hours yesterday. Made $(12x4=...48). Spent 24 at the bar. Spent $10 at the grocery store. Actual profit: $14.
Actual life profit: infinite. Managed to:
1. Get drunk before 1 p.m.
2. Eat hamburgers before 5:00p.m.
3. Go fishing and catch fish
4. Watch Ghostbusters for the one millionth time since it came out in 1982.
So, if getting a job means not doing any of that, I'll gladly continue taking your hard-earned tax dollars.
Also, the end of August could be a great time out here.
Not for you, though, anonymous. You'll be working. Or doing something to do with ... soup? Or working an oil rig? Or having a bath with both paternal granparents? It's your life. You do your thing, I'll do mine.
9:06 PM
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