Our dirt bikes bring all the boys to the yard. Damn right, they're better than yours.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

life as a one-bedroom basement apartment that needs vaccuuming

Sup, fools! So this is the first day of Kristine being in Quebec City for her month-long second-language program, and already I'm really, really bored. Not that I have nothing to do, of course; I do--but I also totally don't feel like doing it. It's 10:30 right now, and I should really be working on this gig review of The Fever show at New City that I convinced Exclaim to give me a shot on, but so far the muse has failed to move me. I'm probably just too nervous to start on it, I guess; it only has to be 300 words max, but I should also make it totally fucking awesome so they'll want to give me some more work in the future. Despite the ease of the workload, I'm finding the pressure to be kinda high. I'll quit being a big baby soon, though. Oh shit, and I just remembered that I have to do some Bestest of Edmonton entries for Paul tonight, too, which also seemed so easy that I left them to the last minute, at which point I discovered they're actually quite difficult.

Anyhow, instead of getting any work done, I used my newfound time to clean up this dump a bit and, uh, play a metric fuckload of XBox. GTA Carl and I are having some good times these days. We just made it to San Fierro, which unlocked the Gap-esque Zip clothing chain, which means I can now wear khaki shorts and a blue plaid bucket hat while I run around and kill strangers with a pool cue I stole from a bar up the street. I tell ya, you just can't buy that kind of happiness. Except, you kind of have to.

Also, Calgary third-string goaltender Dany Sabourin just held my mega-powered, 67-6-3 Canadiens to one goal on 47 shots in NHL 2004. Seriously. What the fuck is that. Needless to say, controllers were thrown and swears were swore, much to the presumed discomfort of my upstairs neighbour.

Okay, back to work. Or back to starting work. And oh hey, be sure to check out Rue Morgue's August issue, because I sure wrote the Travelogue of Terror on the Tower of London, and it sure is awesome. Yay, first thing I've written for a professional publication other than Vue! Take that, long-time employer!

And finally, Canada Day here was really boring. In fact, people are starting to treat the police presence as more of a novelty than anything else, if all the wandering bar girls posing for photos with cops were any indication. Clearly, fear has not been sufficiently struck in the hearts of Edmontonians.

Things sure are smoke-free around here now, too. If you're bored, check out the cover stories Darren and I wrote on the issue. Huh!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whyte Avenue has always been defined by the minority of trouble makers, and therefore I foresee a group of Benson and Hedges, Fight-club-esque trouble makers filling the Savoy's men's room with smoke.
As a smoker, who frankly can't understand why they haven't outlawed this (essentially) poison earlier, I'd like to say have fun in your tryhard, hippie-mother-Russia anti-smoking, homo-ocracy.
In other news, I was smoking at a bar tonight when a giagantic FAS sufferer ran at me from across the room in that "roooooooarrrrr!" sort of way. Watching this develop slowly, I side stepped him and tripped our tragic, drunken hero into a nailed-down table which was surrounded by college baseball players who I cover for the local fish-wrap.
In defeat, his wide-bridged nose became a blood fountain, and I continued out the door, not even looking back.
Frankly, it was one of the most James-bond things that I've ever done.
Resumes tomorrow!!

2:03 AM

Blogger enthrall said...

Chris, Chris, Chris - what a blatant example of self-promotion. It's almost like you're treating this blog like some personal diary or Shrine to Chris-don, rather than a serious, well-research slice of journalistic life with stories that are Too Hot For TV!

Or not. So, what other Xbox titles do you have?

It was so depressing - my wife and I were in a Canada Day Stabbing Pool. She guessed six, I guessed two that night and two the following day. NEITHER of us won!

10:48 AM


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