Our dirt bikes bring all the boys to the yard. Damn right, they're better than yours.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Bus 511

You know what's cool about busses? Well, let's just say that when Halifax Regional Municipality rolls Bus 511 up to your stop on a blustery Halifax Day, you feel special.

It's an odd beast, old 511. I've written a song about it, actually. That's not true. I'm about to write a song about it, but I haven't thought up the words yet. Anyway, to-it and at-it, as Stompin' Tom would say.

I think Bus 511 is the bus that goes to heaven.
It's a bus with really comfy seats.
It was built in sixty-three
and it has picked up only me
today

Its seats are made of pleather
and it's warm in any weather
the driver isn't grumpy, fat, or old
and if you don't have no coins,
he'll stare at your bulging loins
And then smile and wave you back towards the rear


OOOOHHHHH
Bus 511 is the bus that goes to heaven.
Its engine rattles loudly in the rear.
I would like to make a fuss
because I really like this bus
BLah blah chorus one more line goes here...

Kids like 511 'cause a monkey drives that bus
Parents like it too because the kids don't make a fuss
The monkey scares the children, and it keeps them all in line
and when monkey sees a teenager, it bites and breaks its spine.

OOOOHHHHH
Bus 511 is the bus that goes to heaven.
Its engine rattles loudly in the rear.
I would like to make a fuss
because I really like this bus
BLah blah chorus one more line goes here...
(Repeat last line slowly with determination)
BLah blah chorus one more line goes hereeeeeee...

Yeah. That's a great bus. It's like 50 years old, and in perfect condition, and has nice seats. And it looks like the buses from the early '80s in Edmonton. Also, I wanted to be a bus driver until I was in grade 7. Then I wanted to be six feet tall so that nobody would beat me up any more.

4 Comments:

Blogger Chris! said...

Neal, you're retarded.

12:28 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the song, but am distracted by something you wrote, and have a BURNING desire to vent....Would you please PLEASE please excuse me???...

Busses = kisses.
Buses = more than one bus.

And yet, over and over again, I see signs stating "Busses park here" or "free bussing" etc. And not just someone's barely legible scrawl on the back of an envelope. Real, professionally made, even city-produced signage. I imagine yours was just a typo, as it's only incorrect once, but there are still hundreds (thousands?) of ppl out there wondering where the busses are, and it drives me bananas.

Perhaps my ranting will educate the masses?????

Lori A

4:25 PM

 
Blogger Superdude said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:16 PM

 
Blogger Superdude said...

Frankly, I do it out of indifference, the same way I balk at people who say "he" as the English language's indefinite pronoun is sexist. Both debates are both boring and pantsless.
Consider me "educated" the same way the kid in the back of English class in grade eleven was educated while he carved "englich sux" into his desk.

7:28 AM

 

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